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What's That Smell
By Paul Campbell
Over the course of the years my fishing companion Vapid Fendermonger has used just about everything imaginable for bait, or to otherwise attract fish. Although not an actual patent holder himself, Vapid has developed some pretty creative ways to catch, store, prepare, and deliver baits, lures, scents and various other contraptions of dubious legality.
On one particular mission to depopulate the fish of the world, Vapid and I traveled to the outer reaches of the known universe to Frostbite, Minn., in search of our quarry. When we got there we were greeted by shouts of great enthusiasm!
"Hey! You two idiots get out of our quarry!"
Well we found a suitable river instead. The Frigid River was reported to be virtually infested with Northern Pike due to a lack of fishermen with the correct timing to be there on the exact day there would actually be open water on any given year. As we set about taking advantage of our great fortune of being there on the correct day that year, it wasn't long before it became apparent that Vapid was doing some things I wasn't. One of those things was catching fish. So obviously there must be something else he was doing that I was unaware of.
As it turned out Vapid was coating his lure with fish scent to attract the pike. Tempted to fall off the purist's proverbial pedestal I asked to examine the container. Unfortunately the aroma was so revolting I was unable to bring myself to actually use any of it. Well, that and the fact that I was no longer allowed to use it when I made some passing comment about the essence Mrs. Fendermonger wears. I can't remember the exact comment, but Vapid seemed quite incensed, and carried on to some extent that his wife didn't wear cologne.
Since that time I have periodically obsessed with the idea that there must be a way to deliver scent to the fish without having to actually experience it myself. Well, while the science for this I discovered is a little specific, it will fill the bill as long as I can get Vapid to fill the container prior to our departure.
What I discovered was a patent issued to inventor Egil Nymann of Oslo, Norway, for a device which contains fish attractant until it is delivered to the appropriate depth under water. Technically Nymann's device is designed to carry attractant odor to a great depth in longline deep-sea fishing. One of the examples given in the patent is around 450 meters, which for those of you who don't normally fish to metric depths is about 1476 feet or about 246 fathoms.
As nearly as I can tell from this patent, the device is filled with scent, and then set to open when the water pressure is great enough to pop open the chamber. This, obviously, is not a device that someone like Vapid should attempt to use without supervision. The thought of him trying to calculate hydrodynamic pressures in relation to depth on his fingers is a mental picture that although amusing could cause him serious arthritis in later years. Well, perhaps the manufacturer will include a little laminated chart to show how to set the plunger for the desired depth. If not, then I'm going to have to start carrying a slide-rule in my tackle box. (No, calculators are not waterproof, and you have to keep in mind who I am fishing with.)
In theory, assuming Vapid has filled the container properly, and we have set the plunger to pop at the correct depth, the device should reach its appointed depth without spreading scent all along its decent, and then pop open creating a riot of feeding activity near where the fish live. In practice what will actually happen is Vapid will spill fish scent all over the boat, himself, the cooler, me and most of the surrounding area. The ensuing feeding frenzy will be of the seagulls pecking at our flesh as we try frantically to get back to shore and the safety of the truck cab. On one such similar disastrous occasion we actually were ticketed for not having a parade permit, because the flock of crazed gulls clinging to the outside of the truck gave us the appearance of riding a float.
I wonder if it will eventually be possible to buy these devices pre-filled as a disposable item? Perhaps Nymann should consider this as his next great patent.
What's next?
